Right vs Peaceful

Ahh the vat of family crap! Do you happen to have that person or people in your family who is always spouting off their opinion as if it were absolute truth and because it flowed from their golden lips makes it all the more special?

You know the kind, they make global statements, spout their beliefs on politics, healthcare and child rearing just to name a few. In their world they are always right and conversational social grace is no where to be found. I am sure, those of you who have experienced this can add your own adjectives.



Well guess what, not only did I grow up in it, I married into it. Go figure on that one!(Mind you, I am not referencing my husband...he, somehow missed out on that ancestral DNA) Also, I have to say, not all family members of either side are this way.

Recently, I have had the opportunity to be around this particular behavior. Pic a topic and before I knew it, I was in the vat of crap and sinking fast! I wanted to speak up and say that it's not my experience or that's not what I believe to whatever topic was being blathered about in the moment. It never helps. I have tried. Even saying something as benign as 'That is not my experience.' creates a back lash. I am never heard or my thoughts and beliefs respected. Then it hit me....'observe'.

I started with what was happening for me. My throat chakra was closing, my heart rate was up and my breathing had changed. 'What am I feeling right now?', Disrespected and unheard. Why? Because the people in this situation can't allow for a differing opinion or belief. It threatens their existence. Do I feel limited in this moment? Yes. I realized that by feeling disrespected and unheard even devalued to a certain extent, I was emotionally and energetically supporting their limiting beliefs and victimizing myself at the same time!!

Wow!

I asked my self the following questions
Do I need to be right?NO.
Do I need to express my beliefs in order to feel more secure in what I believe?NO.
What do I hope to accomplish by expressing my opinion?'being heard
Where does my need to be heard come from? My Ego.
What is the cost of being heard in this group?My inner peace. Plus I get the consolation prize of connecting with and supporting their need for an adversarial interaction which will leave me feeling off kilter for days.

Conclusion....My emotional, mental and physical peace is worth so much more than engaging in this pattern of behavior.

I then thought, 'What can I do right now to feel better?' Politely leave the room. The need to use the bathroom is always a good reason. From there I wandered upstairs to the kitchen and hung out with others who were from out of town and had a pleasant conversation.

How peaceful!
Kim