The Grand Exit

"Did they know how much I loved them?" A question asked by many clients, family and friends during their time of loss. It's asked by those who shared their feelings with the recently departed and those who didn't have or take the chance. It's a question that can leave people haunted for a lifetime.

Death is a funny thing. Everyone seems to have their own way of dealing with it. Some are very expressive while others may fall into the back ground and busy themselves until life returns to
'normal' hoping the emotional pain will also take a back seat. Yet, some use humor. It's all about what works for you.

I was introduced to death at the age of five. My understanding of it all was very limited at the time. Because I didn't have any hardwired beliefs about death, I was able to maintain an openness and curiosity about what happens for the ones who have made or are making their grand exit.

Right now, my husband's Grandmother is making her exit. She doesn't say much when we visit and isn't conscious much of the time. Her hearing and eye sight have been greatly diminished for a number of years. Because of this, Bill keeps asking me if I am 'getting' anything. I do. She's ready. She knows who comes to visit both in body and spirit. She is grateful for the life she has had.

As I stood in her room today with our daughter, she reached for Bill's hand. They sat there for quite a while, simply holding hands. This was unusual, because his family isn't demonstrative. Not a word exchanged. The Love was palpable.

So yes, I know our loved ones know how much we love them no matter how they have passed. I have seen and felt it time and time again in my own experience and my work. It's not in the big emotional statements. It's those simple compassionate moments that carry the most connection.

They really do take it with them just as we keep it with us. It's always there.

Peace,
Kim